It seems like I'm always the 'bad guy' to Ashton.

From wed morning till now, I'm always the one giving him the gas to inhale. So now, he hates me alot. Esp when seeing me preparing the medi and take out the machine.

Dad just helped me pinned him down while I gave him the gas. I insisted he MUST finish inhaling the dosage given but Ashton was wailing badly, wanna pull away the mask. Dad reprimanded me for being so demanding. He said a lil bit didnt finish nvm. If everytime left abit here and there, how to recover?!

He then said I'm the one who pass the germs to Ashton,which is true. He said I shd wear a mask 24/7 if I'm sick. What the freak! I didn;t see him wearing mask when he is always coughing!

I'm Ashton main caregiver for 24/7! Even if I wear a mask 24/7, he will still get the virus! I can't take medi regularly cause it causes drowsiness. WHen I'm drowsy, who is going to take care of Ashton? I can't expect my mum to help me everyday and night. She got to work too!

Why people just don;t understand I'm doing all these just for his own good?! Even baby feels that I'm a bad mummy, this is really so hurting.

Now even Ashton is afriad of me! He is so scare that I'll force him to inhale the gas. But boy, mummy did these are all for your own good... You're still too young to understand...

On the other hand, I'm grateful that Ashton didn't reject the oral medications so far, in fact, he seems to enjoy it (cross my finger).

Next tues gonna bring him back to SBCC AMK for Doc William to check again cause he's only at AMK on tues night, if not we gonna bring him to Gleneagle which is damn far. Hopefully he is alrdy recovered by then.




~Whatever words that have been said, can never be taken back~